


Horseshoes and Handgrenades

by WastelandMama



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Cowboy Hats, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Light BDSM, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Multi, Polyamory, Psychological Trauma, Recreational Drug Use, Religion, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, cowgirl fetish
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-06 01:24:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15183674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WastelandMama/pseuds/WastelandMama
Summary: A cowgirl against the world. (This is an experimental work, so please bear with me.)





	1. Chapter 1

“You will never  _ believe _ what just breezed through the gate,” Fahrenheit closed the door to the balcony behind her, chuckling.

Hancock was busy perfecting the art of making smoke rings, and kept his focus off his daughter. Newcomers to Goodneighbor often amused her for reasons that escaped him. “Oh, yeah, sister? What we got this time?”

“A goddamn cowboy. Got a hat and everything.”

“A cowboy? We’re a little far east for that, ain’t we?” If he could just get that center ring to line up, he’d be golden. Something kept throwing it off. Fahrenheit waltzed past him, disturbing the rings in her wake and he scowled at her. “Hey now, watch it. I’m makin’ art over here.”

She didn’t pause, “Sorry, boss. Finn’s gonna pull that insurance bullshit. You said to shut it down next time it happened.”

Now he scowled at the idea of Finn being a douche to a guest. Asshole was going to fuck up Goodneighbor’s rep, and by extension his own. He stood and followed Fahr, grabbing his hat on the way. Enough was enough. He’d let this shit slide too long.

He overtook her on the stairs and she immediately assumed her usual position, three steps behind him. They made it to the street just in time to enjoy the show.

“...big, bloody accidents.” Finn was towering over the cowboy...cowgirl? Hancock couldn’t get a good look at her face in the shadow thrown by her impressive hat, but she was clearly stacked. He wasn’t entirely sure how Fahr had missed that, she always had an eye out for a curvy little snack.

For someone who barely came up to Finn’s shoulder, she sure  _ seemed _ tall. The way she stood, relaxed and with a hip cocked just a bit, made it seem like she wasn’t being threatened at all. Like they were discussing the weather or some shit.

The dog next to her, however, had its hackles up and teeth bared at the big man. Hancock grumbled to himself. Leave it to Finn to put a choice bit like this on her guard. Man had no sense at all.

“Accidents, huh?” She sounded amused and her drawl matched her hat. Hancock hadn’t heard an accent like that outside a holotape. Her head tipped back so she could meet Finn’s eye and Fahr whistled low behind him.  _ Now _ the cowgirl had her proper attention.

It was the kind of face that graced pre-war magazines. Large, dark eyes, full lips and high cheekbones. Honey-gold skin so smooth and clean it didn’t seem real. Hancock wondered if maybe she were a synth. She seemed too perfect to be human. The girl tucked a lock of chestnut brown hair behind her ear and stepped closer to Finn, biting her lower lip and her eyes full of carnal promise under messy bangs.

“Now that’s a shame...I bet we coulda had a lot of fun together, sugar.” She moved fast enough that Finn didn’t have time to jerk back before she had his balls clenched in her hand. She smiled broadly at him while he winced in pain, every man in the vicinity who’d been paying attention wincing in sympathy. Hancock noticed a disguised Deacon trying to not throw up. “But unfortunately for you, I prefer playmates who have manners. Now, say the magic words.”

Finn snarled at her and she twisted hard enough to take him to his knees. She clucked disapprovingly at him and then grinned cheekily. “Come on, all you gotta say is ‘I’m sorry, ma’am, it won’t happen again’ and then you get your balls back, hmm? Now, what does Mama wanna hear?”

Fahr was chuckling now and Hancock had to work to not join in. He hated Finn, but seeing any guy in that position...well, it wouldn’t be very mayorish of him to laugh at the slob. He couldn’t actually  _ hear _ him say he was sorry, but the girl nodded in approval and released him, patting him on the head like an obedient dog.

“Good boy! See, was that so hard?”

Hancock liked her style, but he had a duty to send a message here. He cleared his throat, stepped into the light and addressed Finn, who’d gotten up looking awfully murderous for someone who’d just been granted the gift of an intact scrotum.

“Whoa, whoa. Time out. Someone steps through the gate the first time, they're a guest. You lay off that extortion crap.” He kept his eyes on the man, even as he watched the cowgirl from his peripheral. She seemed...smug? Amused? Like she knew what was about to happen.

Finn adjusted himself and tried to act like he hadn’t just been whimpering on his knees, “What d'you care? She ain't one of us. You're soft, Hancock. You keep letting outsiders walk all over us, one day there'll be a new mayor.”

Hancock chuckled. Asshole was making this entirely too easy. The girl’s eyes had gone wide when Finn spoke, like she couldn’t believe he would speak to Hancock like that. He liked that; she clearly had good instincts. “Come on, man. This is me we're talking about. Let me tell you something.” He casually put a hand around the back of Finn’s neck, Fahr’s irritated huff causing the bigger man to freeze for just a moment, the knowledge of what was coming on his face in the half second before Hancock gutted him. He let the body fall. “Now why'd you have to go and say that, huh? Breaking my heart over here.”

He finally turned his full attention on the girl. Her cheeks were rosy and her eyes, a deep blue, sparkled in the dim streetlight like she was...wait, was she turned on by that? Shit. His kinda dame. “Now I know you had ole' Finn handled there, but a mayor's gotta make a point sometimes. You alright, sister?”

“I’m fine. Thanks for taking care of him for me.” The way she was staring at him, he was pretty sure he was going to get thanked again later.

“Good. Now don't let this incident taint your view of our little community. Goodneighbor's of the people, for the people, you feel me? Everyone's welcome.” It was the same speech he gave everyone when they first showed up, but somehow there was innuendo in the words this time.

She smiled like they were already fucking and raised an eyebrow. “Yeah. I feel you.” Her eyes flitted dismissively over Finn’s corpse and she removed her gloves, tossing them on the quickly cooling body. Hancock gave her a questioning look and she shrugged, “Germs. From the smell of him, the last time he washed his dick was when God was a boy.” He laughed at that and she smiled beguilingly at him, “Any idea where a little lamb like me could find a safe bed for the night?”

He liked her. Liked that hard glitter in her eyes, liked the way she moved and the way her body filled out her jeans. But he didn’t like that he didn’t know anything about her. A hellcat like her, you’d wind up waking up robbed blind, if you woke up at all. So he didn’t offer her a mattress in the State House, or even his own bed.

“Sure, sister. We got a hotel. The Rexford. Locks on all the doors. Should be enough to keep out the big bad wolf.”

A sly smile crossed her face as she slipped past him. “Well, then, till we meet again, Wolfie.”

He turned and watched her go, not bothering to hide his interest in how her hips swayed. He noticed Fahr watching her with the same expression and chuckled. Like father, like daughter, apparently. Deacon had recovered from his retching and was watching her, too, but probably for different reasons. The Railroad agent often got interested in people, but never actually  _ interested _ in them.

He surprised Hancock by wandering over to him, casual-like.

“Hey, Mayor, you wanna watch out for that one.”

Hancock lit a cigarette and nodded, “Thanks, Deac. Didn’t know you cared.”

He looked at him over his shades, “I’m serious, Hancock. She’s trouble. Got banned from Diamond City about a week back.”

Damn. He knew he liked her. “Oh, yeah? What for?”

“Well...it could have been when she called McDonough a sonofabitch, or when she told DC security to get out of her face, but if I had to put money on it, I’d say it was probably when she cold-cocked Ann Codman.” Deacon sounded caught somewhere between admiration and astonishment.

Hancock laughed, “Ann Codman, huh? Well, who hasn’t wanted to smack that bitch around a little. Surprised they didn’t toss her in the pokey for that.”

“Oh, they did. She and her dog spent two weeks there before they kicked her out. Got caught trying to seduce the guards.”

“Shit, Deacon, don’t tell me anymore or I really will be in love.”

The agent laughed, “Alright, man. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“You scouting her or something?” Hancock didn’t know much about the Railroad, but he knew they were always looking for oddballs.

“Or something...just...watch yourself, Mayor.” He headed for the gate and Hancock watched him go, thoughtful. If Deacon was watching her, but not actively scouting, then maybe she really  _ was _ a synth. He shrugged. It didn’t matter to him one way or the other, but it made things interesting.

He headed for the State House. He had a new fantasy to test out and needed a good hit of jet to get the details just right.


	2. Chapter 2

Someone was shaking him awake. He fought coming out of his dream though. In it, the cowgirl was riding him like a pony, all sharp smiles and luscious curves. 

“Dammit, Hancock, wake up. You ain’t gonna wanna miss it.” It was one of his boys. Well, that was lucky. He and Fahr were close, but he doubted she’d appreciate seeing her father with a boner first thing in the morning. He sat up and blearily stared at the window for a second. Okay, afternoon, maybe. Whatever.

“What’s the matter, brother? Super mutants?” They were gonna miss Finn’s gun if there was an attack and he hoped MacCready wouldn’t mind joining in the fight.

“Nah, nothing like that. There’s some new talent in town, boss. Drawn quite a crowd. Ham said to get you; he thinks she’d do good at the Rail.”

_ Now _ he was awake. There was only one newcomer in his town that he knew of and that was the cowgirl. If Ham noticed her, that meant one thing: music.

He swung his legs out of bed and stood up, “Where?”

The watchman grinned at him, “Right in the courtyard, boss. Prettiest little thing you’ve ever seen and a voice like I ain’t  _ never _ heard. Singin’ pre-war stuff.”

Hancock picked up his coat and slipped it on, in no rush. There was no need for anyone to know what the cowgirl was already doing to their mayor. Would just make her a target anyway. “Alright, I’ll check it out from the balcony. Thanks, brother.”

He waited until the watchman had left before he popped a few mentats and grabbed his hat, pausing by the door. Why was he so excited? Pretty girls had tumbled through his gate before and usually ended tumbling further into his bed so often it was practically the norm, but this felt different. Exciting. Maybe it was how she’d dropped Finn so easily? Or her general fearlessness? Maybe it was the outfit. Could be he had a cowgirl fetish his whole life and never realized it until now.

He stepped through the door casually and lit up a cigarette like he had no idea about the show beneath his feet. Just the mayor, enjoying a smoke break. No big thing. He leaned against the railing and watched the scene below, an almost bemused expression on his face.

The watchman had been right. She’d drawn quite the crowd.

Her fingers danced along the strings of an old guitar as she sat on a bench, a little box at her feet for tapping out the rhythm. A professional, then. It was rare to see an actual musician blow through town. He surveyed the faces in the crowd, noticing their sway and the way caps gleamed in her guitar case. It could just be she was a novelty, but novelties rarely earned caps in Goodneighbor. Whatever she was singing, his people were eating it up. Words drifted up to him, sweet and high, with a clarity and depth of emotion that surprised him for a girl with such a hard edge to her.

_ “And I know we both have been so lonely...and if you want me to come with you, then that’s alright with me. Cause I know, I’m goin’ nowhere, and anywhere’s a better place to be.” _

The song ended and the crowd clapped, tossing a few more caps in her case. He noticed Daisy smiling at the girl and that a few chems had been tossed in with the caps from drifters who had one but not the other. That was impressive if she could wring shit like that from the hands of addicts.

The girl waved everyone off and started packing up. Hancock hadn’t been able to see her face during the performance, but she tilted her head up and beamed at him. He froze for a second. Caught. Somehow she’d known he’d been watching. She blew him a kiss and he tipped his hat to her, laughing. He did like them sassy.

He tossed his cigarette and went back inside. Fahr had just come up the stairs, eyes twinkling, no doubt ready to go to bat for the girl.

“Did you catch that, boss? Goddamn. Think of the caps she could bring in.”

Ah, that was his mercenary little princess. “Yeah, I caught it. She’s alright.”

Fahr paused in her pacing and faced him, hands on hips, “Drop the act. You don’t have to pretend with me. I saw how you were looking at her like she was the last hit of ultrajet in existence. She’s good and you’re into her. Don’t let one fuck up the other.”

He frowned at her, “Glass houses, Fahr. Don’t think I didn’t see your eyes popping out of your head staring at her ass last night. Gotta work on that subtlety, kid.”

She gave him the same frown, “Yeah, but she wasn’t looking at me the way she was looking at you, so I’m letting you have this one.”

“Oh,  _ letting _ me. So gracious. Thank you.”

She smirked at him and ignored his sarcasm, “You’re welcome. Now do you want me to pull her in for an interview or what?”

He settled on the couch and put his feet up. “Let’s let the little songbird settle in a bit. See how she fits in around here first.” Deacon’s warning was still fresh in his mind and he was also a trifle worried about what having a maneater in town would do to the peace. Magnolia was older and more settled. She had sense about such things. The cowgirl didn’t seem like the type to care about the carnage left in her wake, and that would be awfully bad for business.

Hancock frowned to himself. He couldn’t keep calling her ‘the cowgirl’ though. “Hey, Fahr, what’s her name, anyway?”

His daughter laughed, “Oh, you’re gonna love this, boss. She’s been telling people she don’t have one.”

“What the hell are we supposed to call her then?”

Fahr shrugged, “I dunno, what do you usually call women when you forget their name?”

He scowled at that, “Hey, I do not forget women’s names...usually. Sometimes shit just takes a little longer to come back to me.”

“Uh-huh.” She rolled her eyes. “Well, she’s probably gonna end up hanging out at the Third Rail soon. Not like there’s anywhere else to eat in town. Maybe you can use some of your uh...skills, to negotiate her into staying around for a while. I heard one of the Diamond City kids say they’re gonna tell their friends about her. She’s already bringin’ ‘em in, boss. May as well get her on the payroll.”

“Alright, alright, don’t rush me. Shit.” He dug out an inhaler of jet from the couch cushions and Fahr rolled her eyes, leaving in a huff and slamming the door behind her.

He took a hit and while time slowed around him, put a hand down his pants and picked his brain for all the little details about the girl the mentats had so helpfully pulled into sharp focus for him. He’d had a perfect view down her top from the balcony, especially when she was bent over packing up her shit, and just that little peek had been a mouthwatering experience.

If she turned out to be a manufactured human, he wanted to buy the guy who’d created her a drink because she was a damn fine piece of work.

Around dinner, he cleaned himself up, made sure his hat was extra jaunty, and made for the Rail. Mags was singing like a lark and his beloved wretches were eating it up, soaking up the booze and filling the town coffers. It was a beautiful sight.

He spotted her immediately. Sitting at a table by herself, sipping what looked like whiskey and watching the show with an enraptured expression. Hancock paused. Maybe this one  _ was _ more for Fahr than him after all. Then her eyes landed on him and he felt crazy, but he swore he could see them dilate from across the room. He smiled at her and swaggered on over.

“This seat taken?”

She chuckled at him, “It is now, Wolfie.”

He sprawled in the chair and nodded to Charlie. This one didn’t need a tab. “You can just call me Hancock, sister.”

“Oh, is that your name this time?” She wrinkled her nose. “It’s not as flashy as the others, but I guess it’s your decision.”

Hancock had been lighting a cigarette but paused. Did they know each other? What was she going on about, flashy names? “What should I call you?”

She seemed surprised, “Whatever you like, of course. It’s not my place to tell the Prince of Darkness what to name someone.”

He frowned at that. What the fuck was she talking about...“Prince of Darkness, huh?”

Her head tilted a little, “Do you not like that one? It suits you. I also like Son of Perdition and the Morning Star, personally, but you’ve worn so many names over the years.” She smiled at him like they were old friends. “It must be nice for you now. Getting to live freely and rule like you always wanted.”

Hancock felt like they were having completely separate conversations. Maybe she was already on something? Fred Allen’s shit could be overwhelming for first timers, and she didn’t look like any chem fiend he’d ever seen.

“You really ain’t gonna tell me your name, huh?”

She finished her whiskey and took his cigarette, “Now where would the fun in that be? Besides, your girl already asked and I already told her, I don’t  _ have _ one.” She took a drag and handed it back to him.

“Don’t have one? Sister, everyone has a name.” She’d left the aftertaste of whiskey on his cigarette and he tried to not think about what she would taste like if he kissed her.

“Well, the truth is, I did have one a long time ago, but it broke.” Charlie had shown up with another glass and a bottle of whiskey, the top shelf stuff. Best robot wingman ever. She watched him pour her another and smiled at Hancock. “Thanks, Hancock. It’s a thirsty world you’ve inherited.” She downed it like it was water and he felt a little tug towards her, this time from his heart. There was something clearly wrong here. She seemed flippant and cool, but he sensed weakness beneath the surface. Something bad had happened to her. Something real, real bad.

“How’s a name break, sister?” He kept his voice low and gentle. Deacon’s warning and her behavior in Diamond City were starting to make a little more sense.

She shrugged, “I guess that’s just what happens when you freeze them.” Her eyes caught the lights from behind the bar and sparkled, or maybe that was just madness there. “Anyway, I thawed out, but it didn’t, so now I don’t have one.” She leaned towards him and put her hand on his thigh, sliding it up slowly. “You wanna give me one or what?” She was pouting at him in a way that had him wishing he hadn’t been sober enough to realize she was damaged before starting this conversation.

He carefully took her hand off his thigh and held it in his, “Sure, sister. I’ll give you a name if that’s what you want.”

Her smile was stunning. Perfect, impossibly white teeth and her whole face lit up. “Thank you!” She laughed, “Ask and ye shall receive, huh? I wonder if I’d prayed to you instead, if things would have gone differently. Do you think it would have turned out different?”

Hancock felt more than a little lost. Now she was talking about praying? What the hell was going on. “Sure, Sunshine, whatever you say.”

“Sunshine...I love it. Much prettier than my old one.” She leaned over and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “I like this place. It’s friendlier here than at the other town.”

Finally, a safe topic. “Yeah, heard you got up to some mischief in Diamond City.”

She giggled, “Of course you did. You hear everything.” She shrugged, “That lady deserved it. Talking like she was so high and mighty. Even in the apocalypse, the unrepentant are still strutting around like they own the place. Unbelievable.”

He felt like he needed a lot more mentants or a lot more whiskey to make heads or tails of any of this. “Yeah, the whole Codman family is full of assholes. Don’t sweat it. Talk shit, get hit; that’s what I say.”

“Oh, you know them?” She waved a hand. “Of course you know them. You know everybody.”

“Heard a lot about me, huh?” Hancock generally liked his reputation to precede him, but he wasn’t sure what this girl had heard, or how she’d interpreted it.

She leaned her elbow on the table and put her chin in her hand, staring at him like he was the most fascinating person in the world. “Hasn’t  _ everyone? _ I can’t believe I found you in the flesh though. It’s like a miracle...but in reverse, maybe?” This struck her as hilarious, apparently, and she laughed loud enough that Magnolia gave him the eye from the stage.

Hancock moved the whiskey to his side of the table, “Okay, there, Sunshine. I think you’ve had enough for tonight.”

“Oh, boo. You aren’t as...corrupting as I thought you would be. That’s no fun.” She watched Magnolia sing for a bit and grinned, “I bet  _ she’s _ fun. What’s her name?”

He was busy watching her face, trying to figure out what exactly was wrong with this one. She didn’t seem strung out, and she didn’t have that crazy look in her eye like some of the drifters did. Whatever she was on about, it was pretty clear to him that she believed every word of it. That could make her very, very dangerous depending on how divorced from reality she was.

“That’s Magnolia. Charlie calls her the Flower of the Third Rail.”

“Magnolia…”, it rolled off her tongue like it was made of gold and images of the two of them in bed filled his brain before he could stop them. He wondered if she’d be into letting him watch...or participate, that would be...no, there was something wrong with her and he wasn’t that kind of asshole to prey on someone who wasn’t all there. “That’s gorgeous.  _ She’s  _ gorgeous.” Sunshine turned to him, a mischievous look in her eyes, “Did you name her, too?”

He chuckled at that, “No, no, she came with the name.”

“Hmm. Well, it’s lovely. This whole place is lovely. Warm, you know? I guess that makes sense though. Anything close to you would probably be warm.” She looked thoughtful and he wondered what kind of funhouse carnival went on in her mind.

“Uh...caught the show earlier. You’ve got a hell of a voice.” Hancock was now officially worried about this girl. If she wandered off, she was liable to get killed...probably...or find someone who was all too willing to take advantage of her strange delusions.

She giggled, “Oh! A  _ pun! _ They always said you’d be witty...did you like it? The song, I mean.”

What pun? “Yeah, sister. It was...beautiful. Different. Never heard that one before.”

“What, really? You love music, though. I thought you knew all the songs.”

What the hell rumors were going around about him anyway? He needed to get this conversation back on track before it went back to Crazytown again. “You lookin’ to stick around for a while?”

She smiled, “Yup. I had a plan, before, but...well, I mean,  _ you’re _ here, so, this place is probably like the eye of the storm, right?”

“A plan, huh? What was the plan?”

“You...oh, I guess maybe you can’t hear it if I’m talking to the head honcho, huh? That’s interesting. Well, the original plan was to get enough money together so I could make my way home. If I’m gonna die, I’d like it to be there.”

Well, that entire thing was terrifying for multiple reasons. “Die? You sick or something?”

Sunshine laughed, “Isn’t everybody?”

He tapped his fingers on the table, trying to puzzle this out and wishing he had a few mentats. “Where’s home, Sunshine?”

“Copperas Cove. Texas.”

“Shit. Texas.” She really  _ was _ a cowgirl. “That’s a long way off, sister. What brought you up this way?”

“Oh, you know... _ followed a man who had promises grand and a very handsome face.”  _ She sang it like it was a song they both knew. “I never liked it up here but…  _ ‘Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.’ _ That’s how they get ya.” She wagged her finger at him in a knowing kind of way.

“You were married?” Maybe something happened to her husband. That could explain her fragility.

“Yup. Didn’t do me much good though, did it? I followed all the rules, I was a good girl, I spent...oh,  _ years _ on my knees. I was even in the choir.  _ ‘My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you - I whom you have delivered.’” _ She leaned back in her chair, staring off into space. “In the end, it didn’t matter. I wasn’t good enough.”

Oh, he didn’t like the sound of that. Years on her knees? Was she someone’s slave? He’d like to find that asshole and beat them bloody. “Ain’t nobody gonna make you get on your knees in my town, Sunshine.”

She grinned at him and winked, “Now  _ that’s _ disappointing.”

He stared at her, thinking. Deacon had been right for the wrong reasons. This one  _ was _ dangerous, but it wasn’t the violence that was the real threat. It was how she could pull you in. He wondered if her kind of crazy was contagious.

Magnolia was finished for the night and the soft sound of the old jukebox filled the bar. Sunshine yawned and stretched in her chair. “Well, Hancock, it’s time for bed, I think. Don’t suppose you want to join me?” Her eyes were full of dark promise and he had to remind himself, forcibly, that this one wasn’t in her right mind.

“Not tonight, Sunshine.” He watched her get up, his eyes regretfully tracing along her figure.

She pouted at him, “Still not good enough, huh?” She shrugged, “Well, that’s alright. I’ll get there.” She started towards the stairs and then paused and turned back to him. “Hey, you were there when it happened, right? The big show?”

He had no idea what the hell she was talking about and just tilted his head at her. “The big show?”

_ “‘The first angel sounded, and there followed hail and fire mingled with blood, and they were cast upon the earth: and the third part of trees was burnt up, and all green grass was burnt up.’ _ ” Whatever she was quoting, her eyes had a faraway look when she said it. “I think that’s the cruelest part of all, you know? The trees and the grass and the animals. What’d they ever do to anybody?” She shook her head. “Nature didn’t deserve to be punished for our sins. He’s an unfeeling monster. I totally understand now why you rebelled.”

He didn’t know what the hell to say to that, but she didn’t seem to need an answer. She left the bar, wobbling just a bit and Hancock watched her go. He’d put the word out to the Watch to keep an extra eye on her and to make sure no one tried poaching her. Wasn’t much he could do to fix whatever was wrong with her, but he could at least make sure no one else touched her while she was here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs: "A Better Place to Be", Harry Chapin (Live version is the only version imo)  
> "Mobile", Marcia Ball
> 
> Btw, all songs are available on Spotify if y'all want to listen.
> 
> Everything in italics is biblical references...mostly KJV, but I use multiple sources. ;)


	3. Chapter 3

Their new songbird had been in town for a week. So far she followed the same pattern every day. Wake up, sing in the courtyard until she had a guitar case full of caps, then retire to her room until dinner. She’d hit the Third Rail, flirt mercilessly with anyone who crossed her path, drink her weight in whiskey (Hancock was still covering her tab and it was starting to make Fahr irritated at how many caps they were losing), go to bed. Her dog followed everywhere she went but didn’t seem to pay attention to anyone but her.

Hancock did his best to stay out of her company. Whatever was wrong with her, it didn’t seem to come out as much with anyone else. She had perfectly normal conversations with Daisy, Claire, Mags, even Ham. They reported her as being witty and irreverent and only a little strange. Pretty typical for your average Goodneighbor resident. Occasionally he would run into her and she’d give him that smile like he was the king of the world and make some little comment that made him think she saw him through a funhouse mirror. He’d given his little ‘Fuck the Institute’ speech, prompted by Fahr (she liked him to give it about once a month), and he’d seen the way her face had gone from dreamy to fierce as she soaked it up. Her ‘amen’ at the end was disconcerting to no one except Deacon, who’d stood behind her, silently watching like always.

No one save him and the agent seemed to realize how damaged she was. MacCready about had a fit when Hancock had told him she was off limits. Apparently she’d already spent time sitting on his lap, promising him every earthly delight imaginable, when they had their little talk. Mac had accused him of being a jealous cockblocking bastard and Hancock might have taken it personally if he hadn’t kind of felt like maybe he  _ was _ being one.

There was always the possibility that this girl was just fucking with his head, after all. Maybe she  _ wasn’t _ as messed up as he thought...and really, even if she was, what business was it of his? He wasn’t her babysitter, and if other men (or women, since she seemed equally interested in them) wanted to get with her, was it right for him to say no?

But she  _ was _ in his town, and he did have a responsibility to the people. Usually he let people take care of themselves, and she’d certainly shown she was capable with how she handled Finn, but still. There was just something about her that made him want to protect her. Something that came out when she sang.

He’d taken to leaving the balcony door open just so he could hear her voice, even if he sometimes couldn’t make out the words. It soared through her songs and the emotion in it was amazing. Heartbreaking, at times. When she talked to people, she was always facetious. Tongue almost permanently in cheek. You never could tell if she was teasing or not until she’d wink or finally laugh. But when she sang...it was raw, pure, honest. The longing he’d heard in her voice when she was singing some slow ballad about did him in and he’d caught the Watch actually fighting amongst themselves for who got to stand guard in the courtyard, just so they could be closer to her music. He swore he’d even caught Fahr wiping at her eyes while listening to Sunshine sing once, but he wasn’t going to ask. His self-preservation instincts were too strong for that.

Sunday morning though, things were different. He’d opened the door, ignoring Fahr’s snort (she’d been teasing him all week about how he’d suddenly developed the ability to wake up early) and nothing. No Sunshine in the courtyard. People were milling about, looking slightly disgruntled.

Hancock looked back at his second in command, “Where’s the girl?”

She shrugged, “Dunno. Saw her headed to KL-E-0’s earlier. Maybe she’s got shit to do.”

“She hasn’t left, has she?”

“I dunno, boss. You didn’t say anything about us keeping her here as your pet or nothin’.”

Shit. He really hadn’t. He hadn’t wanted to let anyone know just how protective he was of her, and she’d seemed happy to stay where he was, so he hadn’t thought it was necessary. He headed for the door and went straight to KL-E-0’s.

“Hey, pretty lady, seen where Sunshine went?” He’d usually try to butter her up a little bit more but something was telling him he needed to  _ move _ on this one.

The assaultron’s processor whirred as she focused on him, “No, baby. She cleaned me out of grenades and mines and headed for the gate.”

Oh, that didn’t sound good. Daisy called out from her store.

“Hey, Mayor! Come ‘ere a minute.”

He walked over and stopped as Sunshine’s dog came into view, bouncing up to him and jumping around his legs. “Dais, what’s goin’ on?”

“Sunshine came through here about an hour ago. Asked me to watch her dog, said she didn’t want him getting hurt while she carried out  _ your _ work.”

_ “My _ work? I didn’t give her any work.”

She shrugged, “Well, it’s what she said. Listen, I think you ought to go after her, John. She doesn’t even have a gun on her. Said your glory would keep her safe when I tried to get her to take one, whatever that’s supposed to mean. I wasn’t even gonna charge her for it. I’m worried about her. She’s gonna get killed out there.”

Hancock looked around and noticed Deacon was conspicuously missing. He must have followed her. He took a breath, relieved. “Okay, Dais. If you’re worried, I’m all over it. Got any shotgun shells?”

He geared up quickly and headed for the gate. Sunshine’s dog was barking at him and he paused, looking back at it. “Yeah, that’s probably smart, pooch. Come on, let’s go find her.” It took off like a shot and scrambled through the gate, Hancock following on his heels.

They went northeast, headed for the coast. The dog’s nose followed his mistress’s trail like it was nothing, and Hancock took care of the occasional super mutant they came across. He noticed a few areas that looked recently blown up and wondered if that had been her or something else.

They finally came up on an old church. The end of the Freedom Trail. There was a lantern painted on it and Hancock started to feel a little nervous. Was she going against the Railroad?

He opened the door, told the dog to stay and slipped inside. It was quiet and eerie and there were a few feral bodies scattered here and there, most with their throats neatly slit. So...Sunshine was good with a knife. That was good to know.

She was sitting in one of the benches, head bowed and hands folded. Her lips were moving but she wasn’t making any noise. This was praying, right? She was just praying. That wasn’t so bad. He felt kind of silly now, running all this way just to find her perfectly fine. There was a duffle sitting behind her. Must be the explosives she’d bought from KL-E-0. Made sense if she didn’t use a gun. She would have needed those to get past bigger enemies.

Sunshine made some strange movement with her hand across her chest, kissed her thumb and stood, stretching. He stepped back into the shadows so she wouldn’t see him and wondered if maybe he should just go on back home. He couldn’t really think of a way to casually pretend he’d just happened to stumble upon her and she might not like being tailed.

But then there was that odd comment she’d made to Daisy. About carrying out his work.

She moved to the duffle and unzipped it, humming to herself as she pulled out mine after mine until she had an arm full. She walked over to the far end of the church and started setting them out. That was...probably not good.

“Hey, friend, could you not? This is a historical kinda place, you know.” Deacon’s voice rang out from Hancock’s right and he saw Sunshine’s head whip around.

_ “You! _ I’ve seen you before. Following me. Back off, celestial one. You can’t sway me from his service. You assholes  _ had _ your chance.” She hissed at him like a spitting cat. Hancock had never heard her voice so full of hatred.

Deacon stepped towards her slowly, hands up. “Gotta say, pal, I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about. We’re all friends here. Let’s just keep cool and talk this out, alright?” His voice was soothing and quiet, even in the echoing space.

Her eyes narrowed and there was the flash of a switchblade in her free hand suddenly, “Oh, I see. Gabriel. You always were a mouthy motherfucker. Well, I’ll tell you the same thing I said to Michael and his stupid prophet: I ain’t interested. I spent my whole damn life following your master’s rules and it didn’t matter. We still got punished. There’s no winning with y’all. No rhyme or reason to any of it.”

Hancock moved forward, still in the shadows. Her attention was focused entirely on Deacon, but he saw the tall man’s hand twitch towards him. He, at least, knew Hancock was there.

“That...yeah, okay. I can see you’re pissed. I’d be pissed, too.” He was still stepping towards her and she armed one of the mines in her hand.

“Back. Off.” It came out as a growl. Her thumb hovered over the button in the center and Deacon froze.

Okay, that was enough.

“Sunshine, what are you doing?”

Her head turned and emotions flashed across her face. Relief, pride, happiness. She smiled at him, “Oh, there you are. Did you come to see it? Did you see when Trinity went? It was glorious, wasn’t it?”

“Can you deactivate that mine for me, sister. Got me a little nervous here.”

“Deactivate it? I guess…”, she flicked a button next to the main trigger and the beeping stopped. Both men sighed in relief and her eyes narrowed at Deacon. “I dunno why  _ you’re _ so happy.  _ He’s _ here.  _ Now _ you’re gonna get it.” Her eyes were glittering like they had been when he stabbed Finn.

“Hey, he’s a friend, sister. I ain’t here to fight anybody.”

She looked confused, “A friend?”   


“Yeah, me and Hancock, we go way back.” Deacon gave her a winning smile and she glared at him.

“I know that.  _ Everyone _ knows that. Did you defect this time? Were your eyes finally opened to the cruelty of his universe?”

Hancock and Deacon shared a look. Neither of them had any idea what she was on about. The agent spoke anyway.

“Yeah, I totally defected. Fuck that asshole.”

She watched his face for a minute, then studied Hancock’s. The switchblade flashed again and was gone. She smiled at the men, “Well, alright! I always did like you, Gabriel. Sorry about calling you a motherfucker, before. You are mouthy though. I ain’t takin’ that back.” She grinned at him like they’d known each other forever and Deacon smiled back as convincingly as possible.

“Hey, being mouthy has it’s uses, pal.”

Sunshine laughed merrily and the sound of it hit Hancock right in the chest, “I bet! That mouth of yours got any other uses besides talkin’ fast, slick?” She looked Deacon up and down and Hancock swore he saw the man blush.

“Uh…”, he cleared his throat. “Well...um...Hancock, I think you can take it from here, right? Right. I’m just gonna...go now...things to do, you know.”

“Yeah, sure. See ya around, brother.” He watched him walk quickly out of the church and turned his attention on Sunshine. She was watching him go, obviously checking out his ass.

She sighed, “Well, that’s a shame. I bet he still fucks like an angel, fallen or not.” She shook her head and grinned wickedly at Hancock. “Want to desecrate the altar while it’s still here? That could be fun...or are you not allowed up there still?” She looked around, “Most of the churches I find are abandoned like this, but they probably still have power, right?”

“Sunshine, I need you to come with me. Let’s go home.” He held out a hand and waited for her. She was going to Doctor Amari whether she liked it or not. This shit was getting out of hand.

“Oh...should...should we not take this one? Is it Gabriel’s?” She seemed confused. Well, that made two of them.

He nodded, “Yeah, sister. This one’s Gabriel’s. I don’t want you coming back here, alright? You let him uh...have this one.”

“Oh. Okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.” She carried her mines back to the bag and stuffed them in. “Can we take a nap when we get home? I’m tired after carrying all these.” She slung the pack over her back and staggered under its weight a little.

Hancock took it from her. Shit weighed a ton, even for him. “Yeah, sure, Sunshine. Whatever you want. I need you to uh...talk to someone after though. She’s nice, you’ll like her.”

She finally took his hand and held on tight. “If you say she’s nice, then she must be.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Sunshine. She says what we're all thinking. XD


	4. Chapter 4

Their trip back to Goodneighbor was quick and uneventful, for which Hancock was grateful. Sunshine had squealed happily at seeing her dog and thanked him for sending it to her. He didn’t know what to make of that, so he just smiled and nodded at her. Seemed like the safest route to follow.

Her comment about Trinity was bothering him, too. He’d heard rumors that the centuries old building had been destroyed. Something about explosions and fire. Everyone had assumed that the super mutants who’d taken it had finally done something monumentally stupid, like messed around with a few too many mini nukes, but apparently she’d had something to do with it. She’d done it for him before they even met. How was that supposed to make sense?

What the fuck was he supposed to do here? She was clearly lost in some kind of madness and he didn’t know what he’d do if Amari couldn’t sort her out. She was beautiful and talented, but he couldn’t just keep her in a cage. Especially if she kept wanting to blow shit up.

They came back through the gate together and he wordlessly tossed the bag to a Watchman on the way into the State House. He was keeping that particular load of mischief under lock and key until she got sorted out. If word got out about her blowing shit up in the city on his behalf, they’d have no end of trouble.

She’d been talking since the church. Making odd little comments about things she missed. Things she couldn’t  _ possibly _ actually miss since it was stuff from before the war. Stuff like taxis and GNN and orange juice. She’d asked him if he could bring back croissants and he’d said no out of instinct. He didn’t even know what the fuck a croissant was supposed to be.

He tucked her up in his own bed. It seemed like the safest thing to do. Fahr had smirked knowingly at him and ushered the watch to a lower floor, but it wasn’t like that. He felt like he’d been put in charge of an atom bomb that was a half tick away from blowing. Getting into the sack with a woman like that was just asking for trouble.

Instead, and despite Sunshine’s pouting over it, he set up in a chair nearby, watching over her. When she finally figured out that no amount of wiggling was going to convince him to join her, she’d sighed regretfully and finally settled down to sleep.

Her face was different when she slept. Softer and younger than he was used to seeing. She slept like the dead, too, which was different than any Wastelander he’d ever seen. Maybe it was just because he was keeping watch? He wondered if she was sleeping well at the Rexford.

Her nap only lasted a few hours before she sat up abruptly in bed, eyes wide and panicked before they landed on him, then she relaxed and that odd look of relief swept over her face.

“Hey, Sunshine. Good nap?” He was just finishing a cigarette and watched her get out of bed.

“M’hmm. I feel worlds better. Thank you.” She came over and sat in his lap before he could stop her, her arms twining around his neck and snuggling into him. “Would have been better if you’d been there though.”

His arm went around her of its own volition and he was mildly irritated with himself over it, “Doubt you’d have gotten much rest if I’d been there, sister.” He felt her smile against his neck.

“So you  _ do _ want me. I knew it.” She wiggled a bit in his lap and he knew she’d be able to feel just how much he did want her, despite what his brain kept telling him.

“Well, now that you mention it, I have been having slightly more impure thoughts than usual. Maybe we'll get to... act on those. Heh…” Yeah, if, and only if, Amari could get her head patched up.

She giggled, “More impure than usual? That’s something coming from you. Flatterer.” She leaned back and watched his face with a look that, if he didn’t know any better, sure seemed like true love to him.

Great. He finds his match and she’s batshit crazy. Of course she is.

“Come on, Sunshine. Got someone for you to meet, remember?”

She pouted but slid out of his lap anyway. He stood and took her hand. He knew it would cause rumblings among the townsfolk but let ‘em talk. He wasn’t letting her out of his sight.

They headed for the Memory Den and she followed him until they reached the door, then she surprised him by digging in her heels. He was jerked off balance and turned to look at her.

There was fear on her face and she was shaking her head. “No. No no no. I don’t want to see it again. Twice was enough.” She dropped his hand and crouched close to the ground, hands in her hair. “No no no.”

He knelt next to her, keeping his voice low. “Have you been here before, Sunshine?” She nodded and he put a hand on her shoulder. “Okay. That’s okay. We aren’t here to see anything but the doctor, alright? You won’t have to see anything you don’t wanna.”

Her head came up and there were tears there. It broke his heart how scared she looked. “You promise?”

Hancock smiled as comfortingly as he could, “I promise, sister.” He held out his hand again and she took it. They stood together and he lead her in.

Irma smiled at him but it died when she saw the girl behind him. “Oh...honey, I don’t think…”

He held up his free hand. “We’re here to see Amari, Irma. Not to use a pod.”

Her look of relief gave him pause. What the hell had Sunshine seen? “Oh...alright. That’s...that’s probably a good idea. She’s downstairs, darlin’.”

Hancock gave her a friendly nod and walked past her. He could feel Sunshine’s hand shaking a little in his and it was pissing him off in a big way. He wanted to fight whatever had her so spooked, but he needed a target first. He hoped Amari could give him one.

The doctor was tinkering around in her lab when they walked in. She waved towards the couch dismissively and spoke over her shoulder.

“Whatever you’re here for, you’ll have to wait. Have a seat.”

“Sure, whatever you say, doc.” Hancock smiled as she froze and turned.

“Mayor! I didn’t...sorry. What do you need?” She looked past him at Sunshine and frowned slightly.

“My friend here needs some help, doc.” He led Sunshine over to the couch and she sat obediently, watching him with wide eyes the whole time.

Amari considered this and shook her head, “I’m sure she does, John, but I don’t think  _ I _ can help her.”

Sunshine finally spoke up, “Are you Raphael? Did you join the dragon, too?”

Amari’s eyebrows shot up, “No. No, I’m not Raphael. I’m Doctor Meher Amari.”

The girl’s eyes narrowed, “Hmm...Uriel, maybe?”

The doc’s eyes narrowed back, “Amari.”

Sunshine didn’t look convinced, “I’ll figure it out eventually.”

Amari tore her eyes away from Sunshine and looked at him. “A word, please. Outside.”

“Sure, doc.” He smiled like he wasn’t worried at all and nodded to Sunshine. “You stay here, sister. I’ll be right back.”

She smiled at him, “Okay...hurry back.”

Amari led him out of the room and up the stairs before she spoke. “It’s not my place to question your ah...entanglements, but that girl is unstable, Hancock. You should take care.”

He frowned at that, “We ain’t  _ entangled, _ Amari. I’m just trying to help her out. Do you know what’s wrong with her?”

She frowned back, “I don’t feel comfortable breaking doctor/patient confidentiality.”

Oh, she was playing  _ that _ card. Like rules from two hundred years ago meant shit nowadays. He smiled but it was full of razor blades, “Maybe I don’t feel comfortable letting your little friends run through my town anymore, doc.”

Amari started at that and glared at him, “You’re putting me in an uncomfortable position here, John.”

“I sure as shit hope so.” He glared back until she dropped her eyes.

“Fine. She came in a few days ago. Late. Asked to use a pod. Irma would have said no, but she liked her. She’d been hoping to get a holo of her singing. She used one and...what she saw...I’ve watched the recording a hundred times, and it still doesn’t make sense to me.”

Hancock searched around for some mentats and popped some in his mouth. He wanted to be sure he remembered everything for later. “What’d she see, doc?”

Amari shook her head, “I can’t describe it. You’ll have to see it for yourself. Come back later tonight, alone, and I’ll show you.”

He grumbled at that. He hated wasting chems. “Fine. Just, answer me this, alright? Is she a synth? One of yours that maybe didn’t do so hot on that memory shit you all do to some of ‘em?”

She shook her head, “No. No, she’s definitely not a synth.” Amari sighed, “That’s actually part of the problem. If she  _ were _ a synth, I could help her, maybe. Their brains are the same as ours, but the failsafes the Institute implants in them make it easy to reprogram. Human brains can’t be written over like theirs can.” She shrugged, “I wish I could help her, John. Truly. Whatever she’s going through, she’s going to have to get through it on her own. I’m sorry.”

Hancock sighed. None of this was what he wanted to hear. He noticed Amari looking at him carefully and squinted back at her. “What?”

She smiled, “You  _ like _ this one, don’t you?”

He glowered at her, “She’s a citizen of Goodneighbor and I take care of my citizens. That’s all, doc.” Her smile grew and he turned away, grumbling and headed back down the stairs.

Sunshine was sitting exactly where he’d left her, humming. She looked over when he banged the doors open and smiled. “Hi! You’re back!” Her blue eyes sparkled in the bright light of Amari’s lab and he found himself smiling back.

“Hey, Sunshine. We’re all set. Come on, we’ll go get dinner. Maybe talk about getting you set up in the Rail. I’m sure Mags wouldn’t mind someone taking the dayshift.” She always did hate waking up before noon and Sunshine seemed to naturally be an early riser.

She rose off the couch and brushed her jeans off, “But if I’m down in the Third Rail, how are you going to listen in?” She grinned at his expression as she breezed past.

Caught. Again. How in the hell did she keep doing that?

He collected himself and followed her up the stairs, trying to keep his mind from imagining what her ass looked like under those jeans, and nodded to Amari and Irma on his way out. Sunshine didn’t even look at the two women, which seemed a little odd to him. She had such a friendly way with the rest of Goodneighbor.

She didn’t pause until they were just outside, where she let out a big breath like she’d just escaped a fate worse than death. He raised an eyebrow at that.

“That place is...brilliant, really.” She looked up at the sign thoughtfully. “Such a good trap. Lure people in with promises of the past and then twist a little more pain out of their souls.” Her smile was indulgent as she looked to him. “I bet it keeps you satisfied, huh? All that regret and anguish. I’m kinda surprised you even need it in this world, but you must have quite the appetite for things like that.”

He frowned. She sounded like she was calling him some kind of monster. “Memory Den ain’t about that, sister. It’s supposed to be a comfort.”

She blinked at that, “Oh. Is it? Hmm…” She shrugged and he let the subject drop. He still wasn’t sure what the hell she was on about all the damn time, so arguing with her was probably pointless.

“Come on, let’s get some food into you.” He took her hand and they walked to the Rail, the eyes of the Watch following them. Ham tipped his hat as they came in and Sunshine waved cheerfully at him. Hancock was still busy scowling over the events of the day to notice or care about any pleasantries. He wanted a drink.

He waved to Charlie as they came in and headed for their usual table in the back. Hancock generally preferred the VIP room, but with Mac camped out back there, he figured it was safer to keep Sunshine away. He was a good guy, but young and out of everyone in Goodneighbor, he’d be the most likely to slip the leash of Hancock’s order to leave Sunshine alone.

They sat and he took a hit of jet just to settle his nerves. She watched him with interest, eyes following the cloud he blew out.

“What’s that? I got a few the other day, but I didn’t know what they were.” He raised an eyebrow and passed the inhaler to her so she could inspect it.

“That’s jet, sister. You ain’t never seen jet before?” She was running her fingers over it almost reverently.

Sunshine shook her head, “No, not until recently. What’s it do?” She sniffed at it cautiously and he chuckled. It was rare that a completely straight person came through his town.

“It’s got a bit of a kick. Makes you move faster, but I like it because it slows shit down around you. Makes time stand still almost. It can be addictive, though, so be careful if you ever use it.” Charlie swung by with their whiskey and a plate of squirrel bits, and he took his eyes off her just long enough to miss her taking her first hit. Fuck.

Her pupils widened until they almost swallowed the blue. She turned and stared at him like she’d never seen him before and her hands reached out for his face, the inhaler dropping forgotten at her feet. He froze in his seat as her fingertips carefully explored his ruined skin. The last thing he’d wanted was to get her high...she was already crazy, after all.

_ “‘Thine heart was lifted up because of thy beauty, thou hast corrupted thy wisdom by reason of thy brightness…’”, _ she looked so sad suddenly. There were tears in her eyes now. It made her somehow even more appealing. “To destroy the most beautiful of all...how can anyone follow that monster?”

Great. The jet had kicked the crazy up another notch. “That’s uh...something. What is that, sister? Shakespeare?”

She smiled at him like he was in on the joke, “Silly. Ezekiel 28:15, which you know perfectly well.”

He wished he’d chosen mentats over the jet. He kept forgetting he needed to be extra sharp around her, but shepherding her across the city had him on edge. Now he was having to fight the impulse to sweep her up in his arms and carry her upstairs, craziness be damned. Her fingers were lightly calloused from her guitar and warm and wonderful and he wanted them everywhere. Especially while this jet was still in his system because  _ fuck _ if that wasn’t amazing how it was dragging out this moment forever.

A shadow fell over them and someone cleared their throat. Hancock shook off the jet and looked up. Deacon.

“Hey, friend. Got some light reading for you.” He had a package under his arm and set it on the table with a thud.

Sunshine broke off from her contemplation of his face to look at the tall man. “Gabriel. You’re so beautiful, too. I always wondered, did Mary cry when you told her?”

Hancock frowned at that but Deacon seemed to know exactly what she was talking about.

“Yeah, sister. She did.” He said it with such solmen sincerity. Hancock was impressed. Man probably could have been a great actor before the war.

The tears in her eyes finally spilled over, “That’s so awful. She was just a little girl. He’s so cruel.”

Deacon looked troubled and he’d finally noticed she was high. The angry look he gave Hancock surprised him a little. “Hey, pal, why don’t I escort you back to your room? You’ve had a big day and my brother here has some studying to do.” He held out his hand for her and she looked to Hancock for permission.

That was interesting. “Sure, sister. De...uh, Gabriel here will get you home safe.”

She smiled through her tears, “Okay.” Her hand slipped into Deacon’s and she let him help her stand. “Wanna have some fun, Gabriel?”

“Ha, yeah, no. What? No. Uh...I uh…”, he looked to Hancock for assistance.

“No fun tonight, Sunshine.” He tried to look as stern as possible.

Sunshine sighed and turned to Deacon, “He really  _ is _ a lot less corrupting than I thought he’d be.”

Deacon laughed at that, “What? No. It's probably uh...he’s saving you. For something special.”

They started for the stairs, Sunshine now excitedly babbling about helping Hancock take down the Institute and how happy she was ‘Gabriel’ was going to help them. He watched them go, frowning thoughtfully, and waited until they disappeared up the stairs to finally tear open the package Deacon had left.

Two books. Large books. One was titled ‘Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders’. There was a slip of paper tucked into it, with ‘Sunshine’ written on it. The page it marked had a big circle drawn around an entry entitled ‘Psychosis’. The entry read:  _ Psychosis is an abnormal condition of the mind that results in difficulties telling what is real and what is not. Symptoms may include false beliefs and seeing or hearing things that others do not see or hear. _

Further down, another part was underlined under causes. Just the  _ ‘severe emotional trauma’ _ part had been marked. Then, under treatments, the words _ ‘antipsychotic medication, counseling and social support’ _ had been underlined with an arrow to the margins where the word  _ ‘calmex?’ _ was written.

Psychosis, huh? Well, at least whatever was wrong with her had a name. Fred Allen made a hell of a calmex, too. Hancock wondered how much he was supposed to give her and for how long before she started making a little more sense. Maybe Amari would know.

He slid the book over and stared at the second one. It was leather bound with gold words shining softly in the bar lights,  _ ‘Holy Bible’.  _ Hancock frowned. This was one of those pre-war religious things, right? Connected to all the churches in town. He could vaguely remember the chapel in Diamond City having one on its shelves. He opened the book and flipped through the thin pages. Shit. Tiny words and a whole fuckton of them. Deacon didn’t really expect him to  _ read _ all this shit, did he?

Then he noticed another slip of paper tucked into this book. Hancock flipped to the page and saw that the paper said his name on it. A passage had been circled:  _ ‘How you are fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! How you are cut down to the ground, You who weakened the nations!’ _

Well, that was...completely unhelpful. What the fuck was this supposed to mean? He flipped through the book and saw there was one last scrap of paper. This one said  _ ‘Me!’ _ and had a smiley face drawn on it. The passage circled this time said:  _ ‘And the angel answering said unto him, I am Gabriel, that stand in the presence of God; and am sent to speak unto thee, and to show thee these glad tidings’. _

Hancock closed both books and frowned thoughtfully, popping a few mentats for good measure. Okay, so...Sunshine had some kind of psychosis, clearly, and it could be treated. Maybe. That was good. She was apparently seeing angels in people? She thought Deacon was an angel? Not so good, probably...and he was supposed to be this Lucivar. That...wasn’t that the  _ bad guy _ from the bible? He didn’t know much about pre-war religions, but he was pretty sure about that.

If he was supposed to be the bad guy, why was Sunshine so into him? The way she fawned over him, you’d think he was supposed to be god himself or something. He thought back to how angry she’d been at Deacon at first, her attitude only changing after he’d said he’d defected and joined Hancock’s side.

Sunshine was angry with a pre-war god? Did she think she was helping Hancock fight this god somehow? Her face when he’d been pontificating on the evils of the Institute flashed through his mind. Shit. He had a pretty good idea who was supposed to be god in this scenario. Her going up against the Institute...that would  _ definitely _ get her killed. He needed to get her well as soon as possible so she could come out of this foolish delusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story notes: I took Dr. Amari's first name from her VA. Also, the book 'Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders' is a real book but the quoted passages are not. I borrowed them from Wikipedia.
> 
> Other Note: Hello, babies! So, if you follow me on twitter, you know that Susan (my anxiety) is being a butt. I am still writing, but until she simmers down (& stops telling me my writing sucks and everybody hates it), I'm augmenting my posting. Updates will still post every Friday, but probably just one chapter per story (I have 3 currently running and was posting upwards of 12 chapters a week and that's bananas). Thanks for being awesome & understanding. I love each & every one of you. XOXO


	5. Chapter 5

Hancock waited until things were winding down at the Rail before heading for the Memory Den. Deacon was nowhere to be found and for a moment he thought about checking Sunshine’s room at the Rexford, but no. Deacon wasn’t an idiot. He had to know fucking Sunshine was a one way ticket to a date with Hancock’s knife. He was probably skulking around somewhere. It was fine.

The Den was dark when he walked in, but he saw light from the back. Hancock headed down to Amari’s lab and she was dozing on the couch. She jerked awake when he walked in and he felt bad for a second. He forgot not everyone was a night owl like he was.

“Mayor. There you are.” She got up and he pretended to not see her wipe drool from the side of her mouth.

“Yeah, sorry for being so late, doc.”

She waved his concern away, “It’s fine. Let’s just get this over with. Have a seat in front of the monitor.”

There was a chair set up a few feet back from the monitor and Hancock sat down, taking out a new tin of mentats. He definitely needed to be sharp for whatever was coming.

Amari slipped a holotape into a slot on her equipment and paused before hitting the play button. Hancock had already popped a couple mentats and frowned at her.

“You should know, John, that this memory cannot be trusted. It...whatever it is, it's quite clear that her mind has tried to supplant a fantasy over it. There are things in it that cannot possibly be real, but I have no way of telling which is the reality and which is not.”

He nodded, “Got it, doc. Take everything with a grain of salt.”

She nodded back, “Yes, exactly. I um...I won’t be viewing it with you. It...it’s disturbing. We can talk about it some other time, if we must...just please close the doors behind you when you leave.” She pressed the button and all but ran out of the room, Hancock watching her with surprised interest.

That was weird. Nothing ruffled Amari.

He turned his focus back to the monitor, absentmindedly popping another mentat. The screen flickered for a moment, then the show began.

She was staring at the sky. Men and women were cowering around her. A man with a baby in his arms was asking if she was alright, but she wasn’t answering.

A bright light filled the screen and the people screamed. A mile high wall of dust and debris was bearing down on them, along with what looked like four horses with riders flying across the sky. There was shouting in the background to ‘get them down now’, but Sunshine didn’t seem like she was paying attention. She was talking to herself instead, her voice shaking and unsure.

_ “Hail, Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.” _

The man holding the baby turned and took her hand, his face going from scared to...calm? Comforted? Pretending to be, anyway.

“It’s going to be okay, Nora. We made it. It’ll be okay.”

The ground shook beneath their feet and they dropped below the surface just as the shockwave passed overheard. She watched it roll across until the opening slowly closed, leaving them in darkness.

Then, a bright light. Men with lying smiles and halos of blue around their heads. The people on the platform followed them, but Sunshine didn’t want to go. She stood rooted in place until the man with the baby pulled her along.

“Come on, honey. It’ll be okay.” The man didn’t have a halo like the others. He was tall, handsome, looked strong. Moved with purpose and a swagger that reminded Hancock of himself. She let herself be tugged along behind him, staring silently at the strangely haloed men around them.

Then there was a room filled with...coffins? Of some kind. Big, industrial. She paused, but the man kept pulling her down the aisle until they got to the end. A man stood with a clipboard, smiling that liar’s smile at them. The baby began to cry.

“Hey, honey? Little help here?”

She turned and looked at the baby. It was glowing with a soft, white light and she reverently placed her hand on its head. “Hey...who’s my little guy, huh? It’s alright. Mama will be right over there, see?”

The man smiled at her and Hancock was blown away by the love in his eyes. “See, Mama’s right there. It’s okay.” He nodded to her, “I think he’s okay now, honey. Go on.”

She turned to the lying man with the clipboard. “We just need you to step into your decontamination pod to get you all pressurized for your trip further into the vault.” Flies flew from his mouth when he spoke but no one seemed to notice.

Vault? Hancock’s ears perked up at that. Vault-Tec. Of course. Bastards. What the hell had they done to Sunshine?

She reluctantly climbed into the pod, her eyes almost never leaving the man and baby. They were placed in the pod directly across from her. The two waved at each other and he could see her reflection in the glass.

She looked...soft. Young. Her hair was impossibly long, far longer than her chin length bob of today. Her smile was brave and he could see the tears shining in her eyes. Then a female voice began a countdown and everything went white...

Until it wasn’t. The same female voice was talking again but Hancock couldn’t make it out. There were two new people in front of the pod in front of her. A man he’d seen before but couldn’t place and a strange creature that seemed made of light with wings and too many eyes to count.

“This one.” The man gestured at the pod with the baby. Hancock watched them open the pod, watched them take the baby, it’s glow engulfed by the strange creature’s, watched the man get shot. The reverberation of the gunshot sounding like thunder to Hancock’s ears.

Sunshine was screaming, had been screaming. Scratching against the glass until her own blood streaked across it. Her vision was watery but he could still clearly see that asshole come up and peer at her. He said something but it was hard to make out over her desperate sobs. Looked kind of like ‘something something backup’ but Hancock wasn’t sure. Then they left and the world went white again.

The voice was back. This time talking about a critical fault in the array. The pod opened with a hiss and Sunshine fell out, still screaming furiously. She tried to get up but it took a few times before she found her footing.

Her hand slammed on the button for the pod across from her, and she stood back, impatiently bouncing while it opened. “Come on, come on…”

The man inside was long dead. Frozen blood was plastered across his head and face. Hancock closed his eyes briefly when he heard Sunshine’s grief-stricken wails.

“Nate? Nate, please...please wake up.” Her vision went watery and blurred until all Hancock could make out was the blue of his vault suit. She leaned against the dead body and cried while she recited something.

_ “Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them - May the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.” _

Sunshine was still hiccuping when she stepped back. Hancock watched her gently remove the man’s ring and hit the button to close the pod again. “Don’t worry. I’m going to get him back. I promise.”

She turned and started off down the aisle they’d come through, her voice echoing in the quiet vault as she called out for someone, anyone, to help. She eventually found what looked to be the overseer’s office. Hancock watched her carefully go through the terminal and enter the command to open the exit. Then she was shaking her head.

“No. No no no...sixty years? They took him sixty years ago...I...I’m too late. Shaun, I’m too late…”, she was staring at a bunch of random words and numbers that meant nothing to Hancock, but apparently meant something to her.

Her head came down slowly and rested on the desk. He heard her try to calm her breathing and knew she was shaking. If she hadn’t broken yet, she was pretty damn close. Her voice was small and childlike when she started whispering,  _ “Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that any one who fled to thy protection, implored thy help or sought thy intercession, was left unaided. Inspired by this confidence, we fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins my Mother; to thee do we come, before thee we stand, sinful and sorrowful; O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not our petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer them. Amen.” _

She kept repeating the prayer, over and over, as she got up and made her way to the vault entrance. He watched her use the Pipboy to open the door, watched her climb back onto that same platform and almost felt it shake beneath his own feet as it rose.

It was day when she emerged. The light was blinding and she threw her arm over her eyes for a moment while her vision adjusted. She blinked a few times, then looked out, gasping at the difference. He watched the view tilt as she collapsed, sobbing like her heart was breaking until it changed. Suddenly she was howling with disturbing laughter, cursing her god and pulling at her own hair. The tape ran out abruptly and he was suddenly faced with his own reflection in the monitor.

He sat there in deep, heartbroken contemplation of what he’d seen for nearly an hour before he quietly left, closing the doors carefully behind him like Amari had asked him to. Hancock made his way to the State House, the books Deacon had left for him tucked under his arms. Guess he was going to have to do some reading after all.

 

He was still reading when Fahr rose for work the next morning. She was clearly shocked to find him up with the sun and he smirked at her.

“See? I can get up for stuff other than Sunshine’s songs, smartass.”

She rolled her eyes at him, “You’re so full of shit. You haven’t even gone to bed yet. Being up early doesn’t count if you’re just up really late, boss.”

Hancock considered sticking his tongue out at her but went back to his reading. This bible shit was crazy. He’d just gotten through to the New Testament and felt like his mind was going to explode at some point. The book contradicted itself in several places, spoke of rules that meant damnation one moment and nothing the next, and the god the Old Testament had described sounded terrifying. He was having a hard time wrapping his mind around the idea that people had willingly devoted their lives to this stuff.

He knew the Founding Fathers had read this thing, but fuck. There weren’t enough mentats in existence for him to actually understand all this.

At least he knew a little more about what Sunshine was seeing when she looked at him. Clearly she thought he was this fallen angel, a rebel against her god. After seeing what she’d been through, he could definitely see why she’d be pissed at  _ that _ asshole. He wasn’t sure how knowing any of this was actually going to help him help her though.

Fahr had helpfully propped the door open for him before she left to go do...whatever it was she did, and eventually the sound of Sunshine singing filled the air. He stopped reading and leaned back against his chair with his eyes closed, soaking it in. Something about a song remembering an old lover...the sadness in her voice when she sang it, the regret and pain...it made a lot more sense now. Maybe her music was the only way she could get that shit out?

He’d thought a lot about the man with the baby. Nate and Shaun. Her husband and child. She’d lost them both to that fucker he still couldn’t quite place. That scar and that voice...it was right there but he just couldn’t see it yet and he wasn’t about to take any more mentats. He’d probably stoke out if he did.

If it really  _ had _ been sixty years ago, there wasn’t a lot he could do to help her get revenge like he wanted. The guy was clearly a merc, though. He wasn’t stealing that baby for himself. Maybe he could figure out who the client had been and then they’d have a better idea of who to burn to the fucking ground, because they sure as shit were gonna.

The difference between the soft and sweet Sunshine (or Nora, he guessed) and the girl with the feline smile and cutthroat attitude was killing him. Not that he wasn’t into her now, of course, but it clearly wasn’t who she’d been meant to be and that pissed him off so much it was making him jittery. His hands were almost itching to tear apart whoever had been responsible for that change.

He still had questions, too. Like he still didn’t know who Michael and his prophet were. He now knew Michael had been some high ranking angel who fought Lucivar, but he wasn’t aware of any potential threats to him or Goodneighbor from anyone save a few Super Mutants. And what was Vault-Tec actually up to in her vault? Did all this mean she was the same person who Travis had briefly mentioned on the radio? The stranger from Vault 111. He’d reported on the person and that they’d helped...someone do something, but then nothing. Hancock had assumed the guy had died. Most vault dwellers did once they left the safety of their vaults. Where’d her Pipboy and suit gone? Where’d the guitar and hat come from? And the dog. She thought  _ he’d _ gifted her the dog. That was weird. He snorted to himself. Shit, it was  _ all _ weird.

Deacon might be able to help with some of this stuff. He sure seemed interested in Sunshine for some reason. She wasn’t a synth and he’d as good as said they weren’t looking to recruit her, so why the interest?

The song ended. A new one began, this time with a jaunty beat behind it...something about giving up on love. Oddly happy for those kind of lyrics.

He’d read a lot more about the different kinds of psychosis, too. Seemed like even pre-war doctors had been stumped on how to actually cure it. That worried him, but on the other hand, he felt like maybe that meant he was at least as qualified as they’d been to help her. There were always those rumors about the doctor at that old insane asylum up north. Maybe he could send Mac out there, see if the guy was legit or not. Maybe he could help Sunshine.

Should he even still call her Sunshine? Or would it be better if he called her Nora? She’d said her old name had broken. That didn’t mean that she’d forgotten it though. Maybe she just couldn’t bear hearing it anymore. He frowned at that. He’d stick with Sunshine until he knew more. Maybe.

Goddamn, this shit was confusing. He wasn’t sure if he should play along with her delusions or if that was just going to make it worse. If he fought her on them though, that would make her upset, right? And the book had been pretty clear that it was a bad idea to get a person with psychosis even more upset than they already were, hence the tranquilizers.

Hancock rubbed his face with his hands and sighed. This was pretty beyond him, honestly, but it wasn’t like there was anyone else who could do any better. Probably.

He opened his eyes and stood. If he sat in that damn chair anymore he was going to pass out and then who the fuck knew what kind of shenanigans Sunshine could get up to. He stepped a little closer to the door so he could catch the words.

_ “You can kiss me in the moonlight, on a rooftop under the sky, oh, you can kiss me with the windows open while the rain comes pouring inside, oh, kiss me in sweet slow motion, let’s let everything slide. You’ve got me floating, you’ve got me flying…” _

Damn. Lyrics like that were putting bad, bad ideas in his head. He quietly closed the door and sat down to go over some paperwork. The chair behind his desk was harder and therefore impossible for him to fall asleep in. He pushed some papers around, completely disinterested in trade agreements and bills and even the detailed intel reports from Fahr. His mind was too focused on Sunshine.

One of the biggest questions he kept kicking around, despite his good intentions, was if he should entertain the idea of starting something with her. Despite her obviously tenuous hold on reality, she never once seemed confused about wanting him. Of course, it might have a lot to do with her idea that he was some kind of demigod thing. Was she into him for that, or for who he actually was? Did it even matter?

_ Was _ there a difference in fucking some chem fiend out of their minds on jet or psycho and wanting to...no, not just fuck, wanting to actually have a relationship with someone who’d been through trauma so awful it had shattered their mind? Because if there wasn’t, there was a good chance he was never getting laid again.

Damn. Whole situation had him seriously questioning his morals and principles. He hated that.

Honestly, though, what good was fighting it doing? She was going to keep pursuing him, pursuing everyone she came across, maybe, until he intervened somehow, right? If he let them go further, at least he could ask that she be faithful to him and only him, as foreign as  _ that _ concept felt. As an added bonus,  _ no one _ in town would fuck with her if they knew she was his. That would make him worry a lot less about some asshole taking advantage of her when he wasn’t looking.

But then wouldn’t  _ he _ be the asshole taking advantage? Fuck.

Okay, let’s just say, just a for a second, that he did have sex with her. Let’s just say. Then what happens after she’s better (if she gets better)? Would she be furious that he’d taken what she’d been throwing in his face when she was out of her mind or would she still want to be with him?

And who was she going to be when the dust settled anyway? Maybe it wouldn’t be a person he even wanted to be with. Right?

Hancock rolled his eyes and groaned at that idea. Stupid. Of course he’d still want to be with her. There was something at the core of her that kept pulling him in, madness or not.

He’d always thought you had to be crazy or tough to survive in the Wastes. Her brand of crazy was unique, but was it really any different than Kent and his Silver Shroud crap, or Deacon playing spy for the Railroad, or even his own? He’d never been one to judge before. Anyway, he knew Fahr wanted them together, so did most of the Watch. He’d seen their not-so-secret betting board on when he was finally going to bag her. No one would judge him for it, except maybe himself.

Why was he being so hard on himself anyway? He was helping Sunshine, wasn’t he? Doing more for her than anyone had since before the bombs dropped, surely. He had nothing but the best intentions at heart and he...liked her. Maybe more. He jerked his thoughts away from that line of thinking. It was too soon for that. Probably.

He needed to get out of this room. He was so far up in his own head that he was talking to himself in circles. Now  _ that _ was crazy. He grabbed his hat and coat and headed out. Maybe he’d go chat with Daisy. She always did have a knack for getting him settled down and centered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs: 'The Song Remembers When', Trisha Yearwood  
> 'Kerosene', Miranda Lambert  
> 'This Kiss', Faith Hill


	6. Chapter 6

Hancock stepped out of the State House and immediately frowned. There was no music. He looked at the sky and reckoned it wasn’t even noon yet. Far too early for Sunshine to have filled her guitar case with hard-earned caps, right? Maybe she was just taking a break. He peeked around the corner to her courtyard, but it was empty. Yeah, probably a break. Maybe an early lunch? It was a little colder today than usual, and it was nice and toasty in the Third Rail. She’d probably gone to get something to warm her up.

He shook his head. He really did need to talk to her about being their daytime performer. Fahr’s patience was going to run out at some point about that and then she’d kick his ass. Maybe he should write it down or something so he remembered. He just got so distracted by Sunshine whenever they were together and it was hard to keep the conversation where he wanted it.

Daisy smiled at him when he came around the corner. He smiled back. He liked it when his shopkeepers were extra chipper.

“Hey, doll. What’s the word?”

She was unpacking boxes with a zeal that reminded him vaguely of Christmas in Diamond City when he’d been a kid. “New shipment came in today! I ordered a few things I thought Sunshine might like. She hardly buys anything around here, you know. Says she doesn’t need it, but I got a guy…”, she dug deeper into the box and pulled out some odd instrument. “Aha! She won’t be able to resist it!”

The thing was smaller than her guitar and had metal on it. It gleamed in the low light and Daisy blew some of the packing straw off it.

“The hell is that?” Hancock had never seen anything like it.

She smiled triumphantly, “It’s a mandolin! They used it in country music before the war. A lot of her songs are meant to be sung to it and not a guitar.”

That was...tempting. He tried to look uninterested, “So how much is it going for?”

Daisy looked at him with something close to motherly affection, “You gonna buy it for her, John?”

He feigned surprise, “What? No...of course not. Just curious is all.” His smile was pure bullshit and she laughed.

“Well, I was going to give it to her for a hundred and fifty caps, but since it’s you, the price is two fifty.”

His eyebrows shot up, “Two fifty? That’s highway robbery, woman.”

She smirked, “Yeah, but you’re gonna pay it anyway. I know how you are. I’ll do you a solid though and throw the case in for free, how’s that?”

He grumbled for a minute, “Fine. Fine. Whatever. Stash it behind the counter for me. I’ll grab your caps later.”

Daisy looked a little too smug for his liking, but put the instrument away.

Hancock looked over the rest of her stuff. A lot of it was fancier than the normal odds and ends. Was that due to Sunshine’s influence over the wealthy Diamond City assholes who kept showing up? He hoped Dais was overcharging them as much as she could get away with.

“Did Sunshine pack up for lunch, Dais?”

She shrugged, “I doubt it. She usually skips lunch most days that I’ve seen. Girl’s gotta watch her figure and all that...I think Mike was headed over to talk to her.”

“Who the hell is Mike?”

“He’s the provisioner from Bunker Hill who brought all this stuff in. Jeez, John, you should at least know the names of the traders we deal with.” She was giving him a scoldy kind of look but he missed it. He had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“Yeah, yeah, okay. Catch you later, Daisy.” Hancock bolted from her shop and didn’t hear her reply. He didn’t stop moving until he hit Sunshine’s courtyard. Then he stood and carefully listened. No hint of her anywhere. He came around the corner and nodded casually to the Watch like he wasn’t about to shit his pants.

The dog. Her dog was sitting at the entrance of one of the alleyways. Hancock headed over, managing somehow to keep it to a brisk walk until he heard her laughter ring out. Then he kicked it up to a jog until he slid to a stop by the pup.

She was on her knees in front of some wasteland asshole who looked like he couldn’t believe his luck. The guy already had his filthy hands in her hair and she had her hands…

Anger swept through him, “Get his dick out of your goddamn mouth.”

Sunshine turned just a bit and gave him a sassy kind of look over her shoulder. The man went white as a sheet. Hancock noticed only the button was open on his pants, but it didn’t do much to cool his temper.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. I haven’t even started yet, Hancock. Are you here to watch or play?” She turned back to the man and smiled up at him. “Don’t mind him. He hates having fun.”

The guy was clearly shaking in his boots and Hancock almost felt bad for the guy. Almost. He came stomping over, jerked Sunshine back up onto her feet and grabbed the man’s collar.

“This one is mine. Get the fuck out of my town.” It came out as a growl and the man pissed himself before bolting out of the alley. Hancock watched him go and felt the twinge of a future ass-chewing by Daisy in his soul. She was gonna be livid at him for threatening her trader. Oh well.

Sunshine was glaring at him with fire in her eyes. Looked like he was in trouble with more than just one of his favorite ladies today.

“What the fuck, Hancock? What’s your problem?” The spitting cat was back.

“What’s  _ my _ problem?  _ You’re _ my problem! What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you so eager for any dick that crosses your path, Sunshine?! Fuck!” She was tugging away from him and he tightened his hold on her arm.

“Because I missed out, you asshole! I fell for all that purity bullshit and I missed out, alright? Shit. I’m just making up for lost time here...and anyway, I figure every immoral act I manage is like giving Him the finger, right? So why not? Fuck His stupid rules.” She looked ready to stab somebody and Hancock briefly hoped she wasn’t ambidextrous.

“You’re gonna get hurt, sister. I’m trying to keep you safe here, but you gotta help me out a little.” He tried in vain to rein his temper in, to not keep replaying how she’d looked with that asshole’s fingers running through her hair.

Sunshine laughed, “Safe? _ Safe?!  _ Are you serious right now? There  _ is _ no safety in this world. You of all people should know that.” She finally managed to wrench her arm out of his grasp. “You can’t tell me what to do, you know. I know all about you. It has to be a  _ choice. _ That’s the only law you have to adhere to. Well, I chose to not follow  _ your _ rules, either. I thought maybe...maybe I’d found my purpose with you, but no. I’m clearly not meant for...that.” She looked confused for a moment, like she wasn’t sure where she was and Hancock held his breath. Was she trying to come out of this on her own? Then she blinked and it was gone. The hard glitter was back. “I think it’s time I moved on. I should have stuck with my original plan. If I  _ have _ to be one of the Witnesses, I’m gonna do it from the comfort of home.”

A witness? What was that about? Hancock stepped in front of her, blocking her exit from the alley. She glared up at him and he wondered for just a second where exactly she even kept that switchblade when she wasn’t using it.

“I can’t let you do that. You gotta stay here...just for a little while longer, at least.” He knew if he let her go and she ended up a smear on the pavement, or with a collar around her pretty neck, he’d never forgive himself.

Her eyes narrowed at him, “No, I don’t want to.” He’d seen deathclaws that were less stubborn.

She went to step around him and he grabbed her, pinning her against the alley wall. He’d moved out of instinct but now he paused, unsure of what to do. He really couldn’t keep her here, could he? They had the drunk tank, of course, but he’d have a revolt on his hands if he tossed her in there. They stared at each other and time seemed to slow around them. Those blue eyes were staring into his and he felt like he was falling into them. Yes, there was madness there, but there was also longing and something deeper behind it. He brought one hand up to cup the side of her face and she leaned into it a little, eyes sliding closed. She wanted him. She trusted him. That did it.

Hancock leaned down to her, “Goddammit, Sunshine.” It was all he could get out before his lips met hers and her arms slid around his neck. Her mouth opened under his and he deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding into her mouth and her moan filling his ears. She tasted like whiskey and something sweet he couldn’t identify. He relaxed his hold on her and slid his free hand down to the small of her back, pulling her against him. 

She melted against him, practically purring in his arms, and he knew, without a doubt, that if he wanted to take her right here, right now, in this stinking, cold alley in broad daylight, she’d let him without a second thought. A flash of her face from the holotape flew through his mind. Those soft eyes and that brave smile reflected in the glass of the pod.

He pulled back and rested his forehead against hers. They were both panting.

Sunshine tried to raise up to meet his lips again but he turned his head and she made a pouty little unhappy sound in the back of her throat. “Why’d you stop?”

“Sunshine...Nora, why do you want to be with me?”

Her eyes went wide when he used her real name. “Don’t...don’t call me that. Please.” She was trembling a little now.

Hancock stared into her eyes, trying to get a read on who he was actually dealing with. Someone halfway between Nora and Sunshine, maybe. Nora’s fear and Sunshine’s hard glitter.

“Answer me. Why?” If she only wanted him to piss off some imaginary figure in the sky, he was walking away from this right now. He’d dope her up with all the calmex he could get his hands on and tell the Watch to keep her away from the gate if that’s what it took.

“I...because you were the first person who actually helped me. The first one who didn’t want anything from me in exchange.” Her eyes were filling up with tears and Hancock felt renewed anger at whoever Michael was supposed to be and those fucks in Diamond City.

“You don’t owe me anything for that, Sunshine.” A tear spilled over and he brushed it away with his thumb.

She smiled. It was wobbly but it looked a lot more like Nora and a lot less like Sunshine. “I know...but...you’re  _ you, _ you know? You’re wonderful and warm and sexy and…” He covered her mouth with his fingertips for a moment.

“Sunshine, who am I?”

The confusion was back for a second but she blinked and it was gone. Nora was gone back down to Wonderland. “You’re Hancock.”

He took a deep breath and held her face between his hands, staring into her eyes. “If I were  _ just _ Hancock, and nothing else, would you still want me?”

That wonderful something was still there, behind the glitter. She nodded silently and he kissed her again, gently this time, almost chaste. Her lips were soft and warm under his and he heard her breath catch in her throat. She seemed surprised that he was capable of this kind of soft touch and it probably would have been a little insulting if he weren’t surprised, too.

This one was different. Special. He still wasn’t entirely sure what it was, but he wanted it. Being with her would undoubtedly be a neverending roller coaster of trouble, but there was something else, too. Something wonderful and addictive and unknown. She really was his. Had been from the start. He just needed to accept it and stop fighting.

Hancock released her lips and she actually swayed in place a little after, like she’d been drugged. He chuckled at her expression and grabbed her hand.

“Come on, Sunshine.” He lead her out of the alley and she trotted behind him.

“Where are we going?”

“Your room.” He pushed through the doors of the Rexford and they went inside.


End file.
